Down syndrome: Developmental milestones and perception vs reality

When Alice was born and the doctors told us they suspected she had Down syndrome, I thought the absolute worst.  My mind went down a rabbit hole of "What ifs?"  What if she's a vegetable?  What if she never walks or talks?  What if she has no friends?  What if she's still living with us when we're 90?

In the past 11 weeks (yes, Alice turned 11 weeks yesterday!), I've learned that my initial fears were unfounded.  She's not a vegetable, she's going to walk and talk perfectly, she will have tons of friends and she won't be living us when we're 90.  She's going to be perfect and amazing.  She already is.

I know that many people who aren't familiar with Down syndrome probably had the same thoughts upon finding out that Alice has Down syndrome.  I found these helpful charts that I wanted to share, so that you know she's going to do everything any other child will do.



As you can see from these charts, kids with Down syndrome do everything "typical" kids do.  Sometimes it's just a little later.  Lucy took her first steps a few days after her first birthday.  Alice might take her first steps a few months after her first birthday.  Who cares?!  Not us.

Alice just recently started smiling at us when we smile at her and making tons of cooing sounds.  I looked in Lucy's baby book, and she started doing these things at the exact same age.  In addition, our physical therapist from Help Me Grow came over the other day for her weekly session and said Alice was doing so well with her strength and movement that she doesn't need to see her nearly as often anymore.

Alice continues to blow my mind with how much she has completely transformed my perception of Down syndrome.  And I realize that she is going to achieve at the level that we set for her.  If we assume she won't walk or talk, then she probably won't walk or talk.  But if we assume she's going to walk, talk, run, dance, sing, be amazing and do anything else she wants to do, and we help her get there, she's going to do it.  She can do anything she wants to do.


The other day I came across a story from a mom who got a prenatal diagnosis of Down syndrome for her son.  She was in shock and disbelief (just as we were) and she panicked.  She didn't think she had what it took to take care of a child with Down syndrome, so she took steps to place him for adoption.  However, when she was still pregnant, she met a few children with Down syndrome.  She hung out with them and saw what they're really like.  Then, she changed her mind.  She decided to keep her son and she hasn't looked back.  You can read her powerful story here.

I hope that her story and my story can help change people's perceptions of Down syndrome.  It's not a burden and it's not a mistake.  I hope that our stories can help a new mom who just received either a prenatal or at-birth diagnosis of Down syndrome to say, "I can do this!" instead of "I can't handle this."

When it comes to Down syndrome, I believe there are two types of people: those who are afraid of Down syndrome, and those who have met Alice.


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