When Lucy was born, lots of people came to visit us and meet her. They told us how lucky we were, they held her, they told us who she looked like. They were genuinely so happy for us that we had this beautiful baby girl. We were so happy too.
When Alice was born, lots of people came to visit us and meet her too. But things were a little different that time around. Because Alice had Down syndrome, I think people were uncomfortable. They didn't know what to say or not to say. They didn't know what questions were appropriate to ask... or even what questions to ask at all. They didn't know if they should bring up the fact that she had Down syndrome or just act like she didn't have it. They didn't know if they should tell us who she looked like or if that would be weird.
I totally get it. It's uncomfortable. If I had been in our visitors' shoes instead of my own shoes, I think I would have been the exact same way.
A few weeks after Alice was born, my Grandma Mary had her 89th birthday party. Her party was going to be the first time that many people in my family met Alice. I didn't want anyone to feel uncomfortable and I wanted to let them know that we're OK with everything and they should be too.
I sent an email to everyone in my family just to let them know how we were doing and a few important things about Alice. It's below...
(If you're reading this email for the first time, please know that this is all still true information! If you're reading this because you now have a baby with Down syndrome of your own, feel free to replace "Alice" with your child's name and send it out to your own family and friends... if you feel that it's true and relevant for you too.)
Enjoy!
Hi everyone!
Alice is so excited to meet you all at Grandma Mary's birthday party on Saturday. :)
When Alice was born, lots of people came to visit us and meet her too. But things were a little different that time around. Because Alice had Down syndrome, I think people were uncomfortable. They didn't know what to say or not to say. They didn't know what questions were appropriate to ask... or even what questions to ask at all. They didn't know if they should bring up the fact that she had Down syndrome or just act like she didn't have it. They didn't know if they should tell us who she looked like or if that would be weird.
I totally get it. It's uncomfortable. If I had been in our visitors' shoes instead of my own shoes, I think I would have been the exact same way.
A few weeks after Alice was born, my Grandma Mary had her 89th birthday party. Her party was going to be the first time that many people in my family met Alice. I didn't want anyone to feel uncomfortable and I wanted to let them know that we're OK with everything and they should be too.
I sent an email to everyone in my family just to let them know how we were doing and a few important things about Alice. It's below...
(If you're reading this email for the first time, please know that this is all still true information! If you're reading this because you now have a baby with Down syndrome of your own, feel free to replace "Alice" with your child's name and send it out to your own family and friends... if you feel that it's true and relevant for you too.)
Enjoy!
Hi everyone!
Alice is so excited to meet you all at Grandma Mary's birthday party on Saturday. :)
Since Alice's birth/Down syndrome diagnosis six weeks ago, I've been working on starting a blog about our journey with her. It's not quite complete yet, but it's going to be about her birth, her diagnosis, our reaction, our acceptance, Alice's health and journey, our learnings, etc. However, since my blog isn't quite done yet for you to get all the info before the party, I wanted to share with you a few things before you get to meet our little angel.
- We are doing well! Sometimes people give us a look of sympathy when they find out Alice has Down syndrome. Please don't. There is absolutely no need to feel bad for us. We don't feel bad for ourselves and you shouldn't feel bad for us either. We don't even see her Down syndrome anymore, we just see our beautiful, perfect baby girl.
- Alice's health is awesome! Sometimes people look at me like I'm crazy when I say she's healthy... but she is! Her Down syndrome diagnosis is just a condition that she has -- it doesn't have anything to do with her health. I have learned SO much about Down syndrome in the past six weeks since her birth, and one thing I've learned is that most babies with Down syndrome have heart issues, hearing issues and more. Alice doesn't have any of these things. She is perfectly healthy, and we are so blessed.
- Alice is more like typical kids than she is different. Since Alice's birth, I've spent so much time meeting with local Down syndrome support groups and moms groups, as well as connecting with countless people all over Ohio who have experienced the same thing that we have. And the overwhelming reaction of everyone I've talked to is... kids with Down syndrome are just like other kids. Truly. Alice will walk, talk, run, go to regular school. She might just do these things a little bit later than typical kids... or she might not. She will play with other kids just like everyone else.
- Alice is going to bring out the best in all of us. Although we were completely shocked by Alice's diagnosis, we have had six weeks to wrap our heads around everything. And even though it's only been six weeks, it's amazing how differently we now view the world and those around us. I think you will "get it" when you hold her. She is an actual angel who is going to change us all for the better. And I am the lucky girl who gets to be her mommy.
- Please ask us ANYTHING! We've noticed that some people are awkward about her Down syndrome diagnosis or don't want to talk about it or ask us about it. This is totally understandable and I completely get it. But please do not feel bad asking us anything. I promise we will never be offended. We are so happy to talk to you about Down syndrome, our at-birth diagnosis, her journey, anything. Please don't feel uncomfortable!
We can't wait to share our little Alice with you all on Saturday! And stay tuned for my blog!
Love you all,
Ann :)
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