Every year on each of Lucy's three birthdays, I've written her a letter. I write about what she's done that year, the milestones she's reached, the development she's made, how proud she has made us and how much we love her. Alice recently turned one, so I did the same thing for her and wrote her a "happy first birthday" letter. If you want to read it, it's here.
But Alice's first birthday was also a big day for Lucy because it marked her one-year anniversary of being a big sister. And Lucy isn't just any big sister. She loves Alice with all of her heart... and she has done so from the moment she saw her. So, I decided to write Lucy a letter on Alice's first birthday too. Here it is.
March 17, 2019
Dear Lucy...
Today is Alice's first birthday, which means it's been one year since you became a big sister! You are the best big sister ever, so I wanted to write you a letter and tell you all about your life this past year.
One year ago today, Alice entered the world bright and early at 8:58 a.m. She was beautiful and looked a lot like you. A few hours later, a doctor told Daddy and me that she thought Alice had Down syndrome. We were so scared, Lucy. At that time, we didn't know what Down syndrome was. We had only ever heard bad things about it. We were devastated.
My first thought was sheer disbelief, panic and fear. And my second thought... I remember it clear as day... "Oh, poor Lucy." I felt so bad for you.
I had been praying for a sibling for you, Lucy. But when I heard the words, "We think your daughter has Down syndrome," I thought my dreams for the sibling I wanted you to have were over. I remember thinking that I needed to apologize to you when you got to the hospital. To tell you that I was so sorry that your sister has Down syndrome. But you wouldn't have known what that meant... so I didn't.
When you got to the hospital, I was sitting on my hospital bed, shaking and crying... but trying to pull it together for your sake. But Lucy, you took one look at Alice and you fell in love with her. You just saw your sister. You didn't see Down syndrome or special needs or anything other than your sister.
As the days went by, you just got more and more excited about Alice. I was so scared, but you helped ease my fear. I learned to love Alice no matter what... because you did. I learned to see past any diagnosis because you had never seen it in the first place.
During this past year, I've learned so much about Down syndrome and thus so much about life. I don't know why I was so scared of Down syndrome. Probably because I had never been exposed to it. It makes me so happy that you'll never be scared of Down syndrome. You'll grow up with Down syndrome as a huge part of your life, and you will never know life without it. I'm so happy about that. I hope you always associate Down syndrome with joy and not fear.
Right now you don't know that Alice is different than most other kids. You know that Alice gets physical therapy every two weeks, but you don't think anything of it. You just join in on the sessions and help her right along.
But I know there will come a day that you realize Alice has Down syndrome and that that makes her stand out a little bit. When that moment comes, I hope you don't experience feelings of embarrassment, fear or sadness. Instead, I hope you feel happiness, gratefulness and pride in your sister.
During this past year, Alice has taught me to slow down and enjoy life. To appreciate the differences in all of us. To advocate for those different than ourselves. To smile more and stress less. I believe she will teach you these lessons too, but you will get them from the very start of your life.
Lucy, we are so lucky to have Alice. Our chance of having a baby with Down syndrome was one in 700. Yes, we hit the jackpot. Alice will teach all of us what life's really all about. You have the secret to life right next to you from the very beginning.
In return, Alice is so lucky to have you. You have been her fiercest protector from day one. You love her and watch out for her all the time. And she loves you more than words can say.
So Lucy, when Alice was born, I wanted to apologize to you that I didn't give you the sister I had wanted for you. I wanted to apologize to you that she has Down syndrome. But actually, I'm not sorry that your sister has Down syndrome.
Alice will make you more humble, more thankful, more accepting, more loving and oh so much wiser. I'm so glad that you'll grow up knowing what's important and what's not. So what is there to apologize for? I'm not sorry that your sister has Down syndrome. I'm so happy she does.
When Alice was born, I remember crying, thinking that this was not the sibling I had envisioned for you. But it turns out Alice is a much better sibling than I ever thought possible.
Lucy, thank you for teaching me how to love someone so unconditionally and how to embrace something that I never expected. It is by watching you that I have learned so much this past year. You've taught me more than I could ever hope to teach you.
I love you and Alice with all my heart, and I'm so glad you two have each other.
Love,
Mommy
But Alice's first birthday was also a big day for Lucy because it marked her one-year anniversary of being a big sister. And Lucy isn't just any big sister. She loves Alice with all of her heart... and she has done so from the moment she saw her. So, I decided to write Lucy a letter on Alice's first birthday too. Here it is.
March 17, 2019
Dear Lucy...
Today is Alice's first birthday, which means it's been one year since you became a big sister! You are the best big sister ever, so I wanted to write you a letter and tell you all about your life this past year.
One year ago today, Alice entered the world bright and early at 8:58 a.m. She was beautiful and looked a lot like you. A few hours later, a doctor told Daddy and me that she thought Alice had Down syndrome. We were so scared, Lucy. At that time, we didn't know what Down syndrome was. We had only ever heard bad things about it. We were devastated.
My first thought was sheer disbelief, panic and fear. And my second thought... I remember it clear as day... "Oh, poor Lucy." I felt so bad for you.
I had been praying for a sibling for you, Lucy. But when I heard the words, "We think your daughter has Down syndrome," I thought my dreams for the sibling I wanted you to have were over. I remember thinking that I needed to apologize to you when you got to the hospital. To tell you that I was so sorry that your sister has Down syndrome. But you wouldn't have known what that meant... so I didn't.
When you got to the hospital, I was sitting on my hospital bed, shaking and crying... but trying to pull it together for your sake. But Lucy, you took one look at Alice and you fell in love with her. You just saw your sister. You didn't see Down syndrome or special needs or anything other than your sister.
As the days went by, you just got more and more excited about Alice. I was so scared, but you helped ease my fear. I learned to love Alice no matter what... because you did. I learned to see past any diagnosis because you had never seen it in the first place.
During this past year, I've learned so much about Down syndrome and thus so much about life. I don't know why I was so scared of Down syndrome. Probably because I had never been exposed to it. It makes me so happy that you'll never be scared of Down syndrome. You'll grow up with Down syndrome as a huge part of your life, and you will never know life without it. I'm so happy about that. I hope you always associate Down syndrome with joy and not fear.
Right now you don't know that Alice is different than most other kids. You know that Alice gets physical therapy every two weeks, but you don't think anything of it. You just join in on the sessions and help her right along.
But I know there will come a day that you realize Alice has Down syndrome and that that makes her stand out a little bit. When that moment comes, I hope you don't experience feelings of embarrassment, fear or sadness. Instead, I hope you feel happiness, gratefulness and pride in your sister.
During this past year, Alice has taught me to slow down and enjoy life. To appreciate the differences in all of us. To advocate for those different than ourselves. To smile more and stress less. I believe she will teach you these lessons too, but you will get them from the very start of your life.
Lucy, we are so lucky to have Alice. Our chance of having a baby with Down syndrome was one in 700. Yes, we hit the jackpot. Alice will teach all of us what life's really all about. You have the secret to life right next to you from the very beginning.
In return, Alice is so lucky to have you. You have been her fiercest protector from day one. You love her and watch out for her all the time. And she loves you more than words can say.
So Lucy, when Alice was born, I wanted to apologize to you that I didn't give you the sister I had wanted for you. I wanted to apologize to you that she has Down syndrome. But actually, I'm not sorry that your sister has Down syndrome.
Alice will make you more humble, more thankful, more accepting, more loving and oh so much wiser. I'm so glad that you'll grow up knowing what's important and what's not. So what is there to apologize for? I'm not sorry that your sister has Down syndrome. I'm so happy she does.
When Alice was born, I remember crying, thinking that this was not the sibling I had envisioned for you. But it turns out Alice is a much better sibling than I ever thought possible.
Lucy, thank you for teaching me how to love someone so unconditionally and how to embrace something that I never expected. It is by watching you that I have learned so much this past year. You've taught me more than I could ever hope to teach you.
I love you and Alice with all my heart, and I'm so glad you two have each other.
Love,
Mommy
Comments
Post a Comment